People often think closure means getting answers. Like hearing “I’m sorry,” or “Here’s why I hurt you.” But the truth is, closure is not something someone gives you. Closure is something you create.
Let me explain in a new way.
Closure Is Not a Door Slam
The word “closure” makes us imagine a door shutting tight. But real life is messier. Some doors never shut. Some stay half-open forever. Closure is not about locking the door; it’s about deciding whether you still want to stand at the doorway.
Closure Is a Conversation With Yourself
When people leave us with questions, we think “If only they answered, I’d feel better.” But answers don’t always heal. Sometimes, even after you know why, your heart still aches. That’s because closure is less about their explanation and more about your decision:
Do I still want to carry this pain?
Do I still want to wait for something that may never come?
Do I want to live stuck in yesterday, or walk into today?
How to Find Closure When It Feels Impossible
- Name What You Lost
Closure begins when you say the truth to yourself. “I lost a friend.” “I lost a dream.” “I lost trust.” Naming the loss makes it real, and reality is the first step to healing. - Stop Waiting for the Apology That May Never Come
An apology feels nice, but sometimes people don’t say sorry because they don’t see what they did. Don’t tie your peace to their mouth. Tie it to your choice. - Make a Ritual of Release
This is the part people don’t talk about. Humans heal through rituals. Write a letter and burn it. Drop a stone in a river. Plant a flower. Do something physical that tells your heart, It’s over. I’m moving on. - Redefine the Story
Maybe someone left you suddenly. Instead of saying, “I was abandoned,” you can also say, “I survived something hard, and I’m stronger.” The story you tell yourself shapes how the wound closes. - Let Time Do Its Quiet Work
Closure is not an event. It’s a slow stitching of the heart. One day you’ll notice the memory doesn’t sting the way it used to. That’s closure showing up silently.
One thing you must know is that closure doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean the past never mattered. Closure means the past stops controlling how you walk into the future.
You carry the memory, yes. But you carry it like a scar, not an open wound.
So what is closure?
It is not the end of a story. It is the beginning of a new one — the one you write for yourself
